1. You – your emotional state and level of skill. You make NLP real by what you do.  Just as a tool can be used to create beautiful art or rubbish, so NLP can be used well or badly.  Your success depends on how resourceful and skilful you are. The more congruent you are, the more successful you will be.  Congruence is when your goals, beliefs and values align with your actions and words, when you ‘walk your talk and ‘talk your walk’.

2. Rapport – the quality of relationship. Rapport is mutual trust and responsiveness. You gain rapport by understanding and respecting the way another person sees the world.  It is like speaking their language.  Rapport is essential for good communication.  If you have rapport, others will feel acknowledged and immediately be more responsive.  Rapport can be built instantly and over time, evolves into trust.

3. Outcome.  A basic skill of NLP is being clear about what you want and being able to elicit from others what they.  NLP is based around always thinking of outcomes in every situation, so you are always acting in a purposeful way. There are 3 elements involved:

  • Know your present situation- where you are now.
  • Know your desired situation – where you want to be.
  • Plan your strategy-how to get from one to the other, using the resources you have or creating new ones.

4. Flexibility. The more choices you have – of emotional state, communication style and perspective, the better your results.