Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.
~ Dalai Lama
I am a curious over-thinker who constantly question myself, “Do I have what it takes to be happy?”
- Material belongings
- Level of education and intelligence
- Type of career
- Status of relationship
- Physical appearance and attractiveness
- Other people thoughts, state and opinions
Are the above listed what I need to have in order for me to be happy? If I do not have any of these in my life, am I doomed to feel misery, unhappiness and despair for all of my life? This predicament has been in my head for as long as I can remember. Thankfully, after experiencing and going through the Live By Design (LBD) Practitioner and Master Practitioner Certification training, I went through an immense transformation, especially, in my obsessive overthinking and pursuit of happiness.
Initially, my pursuit of happiness was to make people around me happy; and I would go to all means to see them cheery and joyful regardless of how I was feeling or how I was going to do it. I thought that was the ONLY way to be happy; and if I did not, happiness would fade away and end. I always had to be the positive, responsible and cheerful one, so that people could come to me and ask for my advice or help thus allowing me to feel happy. This cycle was happening for such a long time until the feeling of tiredness, unhappiness, restlessness and bitterness eventually started to overwhelm me. It was becoming unhealthy.
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
~ Mahatma Gandhi
I have learned that happiness is something I have to step up and take control of to fulfill my own desires and needs. It is about finding the happiness that works for me and not for other people. Looking for my own definition of happiness have surely last longer as it is aligned with my values, my beliefs. Since my happiness is self-governing and autonomous, I learned to be more grateful with what I have and wherever I am in my life right now.
Happiness should not be acquired or bought. It does not need some sort of justification or someone’s permission to have or feel. I have never felt so liberated after I discovered this knowledge. I now live by the motto “Stop letting my happiness be dependent on someone’s else’s mood” and created my own version of happiness. In case of a drop in air pressure during a flight, please put the oxygen mask on yourself first before attending to others. Sounds familiar? How could I consider helping others if I could not help myself to be happy?
Happiness in all likelihood is wonderful to be in continual state, though it is not a ‘must-be’. Let’s face it. Sometimes it gets quite difficult and exhausting to focus only on the positive things and neglect all the negative emotions. Perception is projection. What you perceive is what you will end up projecting. What is reflected on the inside will reflect the outside. People will notice when I am faking it. Hence, it is alright for me or anyone to have bad days and not feel as bubbly or joyful. Be aware of your negative emotions, acknowledge it and then act. Vent it out in a healthy manner and do not dwell on it to a point that it overwhelms us.
Happiness appears even when you are at the most stressful or saddest or irritated time; and it is in your hands which one you choose to prioritize on. What I realized is that these moments are momentary. As I shift my focus from “how bad or worse it could be” to “how blessed I am”, I am able to look at the positive side of things about any circumstances. If I actually sat down and think about the positive learning I can get from these moments, there would be more reasons to choose happiness instead of holding on to the sadness. When you smile about the life you live, you end up living a life worth smiling about.
Happiness appears in various different forms, and how we perceive and utilize it differs from one to the other. Happiness, like beauty, lies in the beholder. Everyone sees, develops and finds their own and true happiness at their own pace, effort and techniques. Create your own page of happiness. Start sketching what happiness means to you and what you need to accomplish it.
Be Bold. Be Yourself. Live your own definition of happiness.
If you want to find out more about coaching services or training to help you figure and start the first step in your path to happiness, please call us at +65 8388 0500 (Singapore) or +6012 434 9500/+6012 649 6500 (Malaysia), drop us a message, or email Office@BillyKueek.com for more details.