Category

Live by Design

Living Free – Make the Right Choice

By | ABNLP, Change, Coaching, Hypnosis, Live by Design, NLP, Personal Development, Time Line Therapy, Training

Watching “The Greatest Showman” triggered many thoughts and stirred many emotions within me. With the world advancing so rapidly and making great improvements to human lives, yet we are still encountering natural disasters, illnesses and physical/mental defects. While many claimed to be saintly and aspire to be a great person, it is with no doubts that many also still bears prejudices and discrimination for people who are different. Thus when one stands out differently, he or she seemed to be the common target for random attacks in one way or another.

I remember when I was a kid, I was, on many occasions, called “Weird“. Yes, physically and mentally I am normal; I just frequently have uncommon thoughts that defy the normality of the social circle around me. Sometimes I asked the weirdest questions, challenged the ancient norms, and talked about “dreams” that no one ever thought about. Do I feel upset? Was I shaken? Yes, of course! For I am also a human who feels. Slowly I learnt to be selective in sharing my thoughts. I only shared with people who have an open mind, who are willing to explore beyond, and dare to challenge the unknown. As such, one can only guess… I don’t really have many friends. Good friends… RARE! Did I try to conform so that I fit in? Yes, of course again! I went through Education, the usual career path, the ever-damned rat race, and the sickening office politics at work.

So what happened to me? With the values I hold within me, the experiences I went through and the beliefs that were built or inculcated into me, I developed into a person who is independent and surrounded by a tall & thick wall. With very few friends and little support, I relied mainly on myself to become “successful”. I, sometimes, set unrealistic expectations on myself trying to achieve the ridiculous expectations of others. My life seemed to go just round and round in circles with no aim. I worked hard (maybe too hard). I earned money that I never had time to spend, cos I was always working late into the weekday nights, and during the weekends I just wanted to crash on my bed eternally (not to mention I brought work home over the weekends too). Eventually I felt like a walking zombie just living each day out. I was aimless, lost, unmotivated, frustrated, and tired; and my health was taking a toil on me.

In 2015, I made a major breakthrough in my life. I felt lifeless and totally angry. And one day, after experiencing a major trigger at work, I decided Enough is Enough! I needed help and guidance, and that’s when I re-explored the notion of learning Neuro-Linguistics Programming (NLP). Against everyone’s advice, I quit my job. Everyone asked me to reconsider and just stay on the “safe” track, so that as I, at least, would receive a steady flow of income and be able to maintain my existing lifestyle. But what “lifestyle” was I having when I don’t even have a life?! I moved on and never look back upon my old life ever again.

Since then I started my journey on NLP as an inquisitive explorer, then a Practitioner to a Master Practitioner, and I am now a NLP Trainer myself. I remember on Day 3 of my NLP Practitioner Training, I was taught to use Perceptual Position to help resolve a conflict with someone whom I would not be able to resolve face-to-face. During the exercise, I used it to resolve my conflict with my ex-boss whom I totally despised. After the exercise, my frustration for my ex-boss seemed to just dissipate; and I texted my ex-colleague to inform that I forgave my ex-boss and I was not angry with him anymore. Isn’t that just amazing?! By forgiving my ex-boss and letting go of the anger within me, a new and better version of myself emerged. I became happier and more care-free. What NLP has taught me is to always have an open perspectives and view matters from all angles. It also helped me to develop self awareness, take personal responsibility for my life, and sharpened my self-leadership.

The Map is not the Territory. Respect for the Other Person’s Model of the World.
~ NLP Presuppositions

Now, I conduct Corporate Training to empower people to advance in their career, and offer coaching services to those who desire to achieve personal breakthroughs in their personal life or career. And I am very happy doing what I am doing now. In line with our company’s vision, “Transforming People, Inspiring Lives“, I am glad to be working with a team of like-minded people who derive satisfaction out of inspiring and empowering people, so that they can achieve success and be happy.

When I meet up with my friends and ex-colleagues, very often I feel a lot of dissatisfaction, frustrations, anger, weariness from them regarding their work. I hear a lot of whining that lead to nothing:- No Change. No Actions. While they are unhappy, it seemed the discomfort is not painful enough to get them out of the system. When I asked why they want to remain where they are, the usual answer that returns is “No choice“. Yet no choice is also a choice. A choice that you made to remain stuck in the existing wretch moment. Everyone has choices. In fact, MANY!

We are all shaped and a result of our choices. And how we make our choices is often based on the values and beliefs that influence us. Following the TFAR model, our Thoughts create Feelings in us that translate into Actions, thus producing the Results. And all we need is to just control that first thought to achieve the desired result we want.

Everyone of us is born a winner, gifted with our own talents, and slated for success in our own ways. When you follow your heart’s true desire, and be led by your highest purpose, you will find the meaning of your life and be happy. All of us deserves to be happy. We are not born to work non stop and suffer. We are born to live and experience. Live in the moment. Remember the time when you were a kid; and you were fearless and filled with dreams and imaginations. Success is in all of us. The question is “How much do you want it to manifest in your life? And what are you willing to do/change to see it happen in real?

We create our own problems; and yet we are the solutions to our problems.
We are always looking for more resources (time, money, support. etc), yet we are the best asset we have.
We are always battling in life and career, and we are the best weapon on hand.
We are always looking for the best leader to guide us, yet it is self leadership that leads us the best.

Now… What do you really want in your life? What choices would you make?